Approaching Discomfort: A Tarot Spread

I’m sure I speak for many of us when I say that discomfort is a familiar and unwanted sensation that kicks my avoidance tendencies into high gear. Once my body registers that prickly sensation of unease, I’ll find myself unconsciously reaching for [insert distraction here] to help dull the angst and bring me back to a comfier baseline. Very natural, very human, and very much keeping me stuck in certain patterns that I don’t want to enact anymore.

As an overthinker and soul-explorer, there’s just something about discomfort that keeps calling my attention. Sure, I most often respond to those calls by moving away from the source – but the fact remains that discomfort keeps coming up again and again in my life, and that probably means I should turn towards it (ugh). 

And so I thought to myself, “What better way to approach discomfort than through the free-flowing structure of a thought prompt? And what better thought prompt than a tarot spread dreamed up by you?” Like all people, I like to feel like I’m not alone in my struggles – so I’m sharing this with you, in hopes that you might be able to find some value in this exercise too. But what kind of writer would I be if I didn’t start with a story detailing how this spread came to be? 

Why Am I Approaching Discomfort?

We begin with the macro: I love a self-study moment. Self-study is one of the greatest ways of engaging the lifelong learner within me. It soothes my perfectionist tendencies with a reminder that skills take time to develop. It makes my brain sparkle in that way that only happens when I’m working towards improvement. There’s something so humbling and calming about being able to see a part of yourself that could use some care, and dedicating effort to that nurturance. 

And so each year, I settle on a theme that will help guide me for the coming 12 months, always with a focus on something that I have not yet mastered. Once I decide on the theme, I make a promise to myself to practice noticing and approaching it, whatever “it” is. In 2021, the theme was “boundaries”: Naturally, my acute focus on boundaries meant that last year was rife with moments where I noticed a need to differentiate between myself and others. Sometimes I did the differentiation thing, other times I didn’t – either way, I developed a framework for understanding the importance of boundaries in my life, and that has impacted my world for the better.  

Last week was my birthday, presenting a perfect time to reflect on this year’s theme. There’s something about seeing your age tick up a number that makes you stop and take stock. What’s going well? What could be going better? What do I have to learn? I journaled, I did tarot spreads, I spoke with trusted friends – and the topic of “discomfort” kept bubbling up to the surface. “Great,” I said to myself begrudgingly, “seems like I’ve found my theme of the year.” 

It likely goes without saying that I don’t care for discomfort, because who does? The real cue for me that this should be my focal point for 2022 was just how much resistance came up whenever discomfort arose. Over the years, I’ve realized that this level of aversion always has something to teach me. I feel myself getting uncomfortable in a conversation, and so I steer away. I sense a pinch in my neck and I look for ways to make it disappear. I think of that awkward thing I did one time, I flush with embarrassment, and I push it to the back of my mind closet. As much as my comfort-loving self wants to deny it, I know there’s something in that unwillingness to sit with discomfort that’s just begging to be explored. 

At its core, discomfort serves as a messenger. Sure, sometimes that message is giving us useful advice such as “hot stove = burny burny” – but other times, that message might be misleading, steering us away from important growth. Particularly when it comes to thoughts, conversations, and other mental domains, we may feel discomfort when we’re not actually in harm’s way. Moving away from discomfort in these scenarios may feel natural, may even happen without awareness – but it can keep us from realizing what that discomfort is trying to tell us. 

For example, I dislike conflict. When conflict arises in my life, discomfort flares up and says “hey, stop what you’re doing because someone is gonna get upset and it won’t be good”. If I don’t stop to question that message, I will inevitably acquiesce to the other person’s desires, which can lead to unmet needs and resentment. By contrast, if I can catch myself feeling that uncomfortable prickle when conflict crops up, I may choose to just let that discomfort be. I may self-soothe and remind myself that speaking my mind in this instance won’t put me in harm’s way and that even though it feels uncomfortable to do, it’s actually safe. I may even recognize that the discomfort is stemming from me betraying my own needs by not speaking up. This moment of pause and reflection effectively rewires my concept of discomfort, helping to teach me that often the things I avoid are the ones that require healing – and they’re a lot less scary than I think they are.

This year, I am inviting myself to approach discomfort when it shows up. I’m reminding myself that discomfort can be a teacher if I let it and that I’m actually more resilient in its presence than I may think. It feels forced now because it’s a brand-new habit, but I keep repeating it like a mantra until it really sinks in: Discomfort can be a blessing because noticing it gives me the opportunity to turn towards it and learn from it. 

The Tarot Spread

So we get to the tarot spread bit of this conversation, which is all about practicing approaching discomfort. I speak from my own experience when I say: Make sure you’re set up properly before you dive into this. Discomfort is a heavy topic, so you want to be in a good headspace when you approach this. I like to do a little meditation and brew myself a tea beforehand, then spend some time appreciating myself for the effort after the fact. The idea here is to be kind to yourself through this practice – Self-compassion is an integral part of the neural rewiring we’re doing here, so you can’t opt out of it. 

If you don’t have a deck of tarot cards, this can be used as a series of journal reflections – this practice is all about moving towards the things that feel unapproachable, and this can be done with or without a deck. Get yourself all set up, and get to it! 

If you do this spread and feel like sharing, I’d love to hear your takeaways. You can tag me on Insta @bringlighttoshadow, you can comment here, you can DM me – whatever works. 

Hope you find this helpful! Love,

Jodie